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It’s storming outside my office window as I write this post. Looking afresh at my mother’s words makes me feel two things. One of which is reflecting on how proud my mother was of me. We had the absolute privilege of affirming each other and loving each other until her very last breath. I know this is a gift.
The storm outside my window also brings back memories of this post. It was one of the most difficult seasons of my life, and I shared the letter below with her before I sent it with my resignation from a job I loved. She was so proud of me and encouraged me throughout the struggle.
When I read it, I want to give That Me a big hug. What I didn’t know then, that I do now, was that it was a song of lament. Thankful to God for the journey, and brokenhearted in the parting.
Grieving is like that.
-Tricia
—
It is a great day and a greater week. I have not experienced any noticeable physical changes. YEA!!!! I am grateful to the Lord for keeping His hand on me and hearing the prayers of people who know and love us. We have been busy with family and friends, which really adds to our positive mental health. What I have learned is ALS is about all of us.
A favorite thing that contributes to good mental health for Cliff and me is Sunday afternoon when our family showed up en mass (Tricia, Craig, Dee, Bryce, Cate, Adam, Kyla, Nate, and Sonia) with lunch. The couple of hours they were here blessed both of us. This really does my heart good. When my heart is good, the rest of me also tends to be good. I am so proud of my family. They work hard, love God, and take good care of each other and their grandparents. We are blessed.
This week I was asked by my good friend Joann to share my story with her Bible study group. I was honored to be included in another circle of new friends. What added to the blessing of being invited was being with my good friends Margot, Elaine, and Dee, who were also there. It was a wonderful group of women who were open and vulnerable about what the Lord was doing in their lives. One thing I have always appreciated about women who share a faith in Jesus is the common bond that brings their hearts immediately together. Another blessing for the week.
The blessings continue in the meals provided and the thoughtfulness of our daughter. She is a woman of faith, a woman of prayer, a woman of God. She resigned from her position at the local, faith-based, life-affirming pregnancy clinic this week. She loved working at the center but truly believes God is taking her in another direction. She wrote this about her experiences there:
I was reflecting today about this ministry. It is a transformational ministry.
This ministry grew me up.
Before I got here, I lived, head down, a singular point of view, as if balancing on unstable stones while crossing a river. Today, my view has changed. Today, I look up, and the irregularly shaped stones beneath my feet have become a fixed path.
Am I waxing too poetic?
I have learned that people’s lives are complicated and broken.
I have witnessed the tiny heartbeat of a person not yet born.
I have shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with the lost, and I still get choked up when I get to the cross.
I have given the gift of the written Word to a young woman I will never forget.
I have cried with a young man who will never hold his child.
I have mourned the lives of four babies and grieved for their mothers as well.
I have said things to a client that could have only been from the heart of God.
I have witnessed a woman change her mind and choose life for her baby.
I have lit a candle and honored a life.
I have ministered alongside some of the most amazing people God has ever created (I can’t believe I got to know each of you…a HUGE blessing.)
God has allowed me to be a tick in the clock of history, serving in a ministry so close to his heart.
I have been humbled by a woman trusting me enough to share her abortion story for the very first time.
I have eaten more pretzels filled with peanut butter than I care to admit.
I have been mentored by wise and Godly women.
I have stood in a classroom and told precious teens that they are not accidents but created and loved by a God who will never fail them.
I have said the words “Jesus” and “abortion” in the same sentence. Because of His steadfast love, He forgives.
I have prayed over a Baby Saved that he would be a mighty man of God.
I have learned that each client is a gift given to a specific advocate for a specific reason.
I have been sorely challenged and found that my strength, wisdom, and joy cannot compare to God’s.
Too poetic? Yes. Beautifully so. God’s work in our life’s journey is poetry; through it, we are transformed.
Warmly and with great love and respect,
Tricia
PS My mom told me that when you start on a new journey, you get to buy new shoes. Done and done.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV)
–Susan
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