#48 My ALS Journey—The Rule Book: Rule 12

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A Rule Book by Susan Catlett

Rule #12 This Rule is a reminder: it is not all about me.

This is a tough rule because my days are filled with all about me, and because Cliff cares, he makes the days all about me. One of his first questions every morning is, “What do you want to do today?”

My day starts with a personal Care Giver who is all about me and everything we do or places we go is all about me. The questions all revolve around where to park our disability van, the locations of public restrooms, wherever we are, and how easy it is for me to navigate my power wheelchair. You see, it most definitely is all about me.

In addition, I am consumed with all about me. Will I be able to transfer to the front seat of our van from my power bike, or should I just let Cliff strap me in my chair in the back of the van? What or how many doctor’s appointments do I have today this week? When I get my hair cut or a pedicure, will I still be able to transfer from my power bike to their chairs? What about my eye appointment or my dental appointment next month? The list of challenges is more consuming, daunting, and longer every day. This is why I have a rule that says it is not all about me which makes it more about you.

I do this to converse: I try to stay informed on news events, read books and magazines, and be knowledgeable about current movies. I want to know about you and your life, what you think, and if you let me know how you feel (don’t worry, I will respect your boundaries—most of the time).

Right now, the only gift I can give you is being present when we talk, being a good listener, and being a caring friend. Please remind me of this when I talk too much about myself. This is a hard rule. As much as I want it, I need to be reminded that it is more about you.

Check it out. This is why it is a hard rule: there are three paragraphs about me and only two about you. I have some work to do.

Rules 13, 14, and 15
Cry, Join a Support Group, and Be Knowledgeable About Your Disease.

I am going to let these rest rules rest for a while. I will come back to them…I have some other issues on my mind that I need to sort out. Stay tuned.

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